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How does it feel “outside”?

September 17, 2007

Len Hjalmarson shares his own experience in “Leaving the Church?

What if someone steps outside the well worn paths? What if we stop assuming that the Sunday gathering should be the pre-eminent experience of the Christian life?

Suddenly a lot of other answers that were taken for granted are less than obvious. The journey in search of Christ outside the structures is not an easy one. I’ve found the journey to be far more emotional and upsetting to my life than I thought it would be.

First I dealt with guilt and self doubt at leaving the church. Am I a rebel? Do I just have trouble fitting in? Is there really a serious problem with this structure or am I getting paranoid?” There were plenty of voices willing to answer those questions in the affirmative!

The inner dialogue heated up. Who am I to think I can do better? Aren’t I just being divisive and proud, thinking a few are finding the answers when the many are not, but are lost in the system or merely going through the motions?

The internal questions didn’t stop. I could clearly see that I had not become perfect, and that I didn’t have all the answers. In fact, if anything, I had fewer answers than ever.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 1, 2008 10:45 am

    The mouth speaks of the freedom embraced by the heart; But the mind remains in bondage to the institution.

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